ONCE “MOORE” WITH FEELING: ‘TWAS THE MONTH OF DECEMBER – AGAIN!

It’s that time of year here at Employment Essentials.  As our loyal readers know, the holiday season always brings the fun and critically acclaimed annual holiday poem from our attorney columnist, Vanessa Goddard. This year is no different, as Vanessa offers up a new humorous take on the world of Human Resources and employment law for everyone’s enjoyment. Happy Holidays from everyone on the Employment Essentials team!

Once “Moore” With Feeling: ‘Twas The Month Of December – Again!

Twas the month of December, we’re early this year,

To plan against surprises as Christmas draws near.

In the past HR handled parties and drinking.

What could possibly happen – you might be thinking.

 

Our vets have come home this year – to their positions.

We’ve worked with our employees’ many transitions

Taken care of the disabled; those on workers’ comp

Times should be joyful, happy.  We’re ready to romp!

 

We all know holiday fun has its ups and downs.

We are ready to face it – all smiles and no frowns.

We’ve trained up on policies that might be broken,

Spreading word covering things done, sent, or spoken.

 

The mistletoe’s been hidden; we’ll never tell where.

And the only Christmas goose will not cause a scare.

No pinching, no grabbing, nay! No Xeroxed rear end.

Any form of harassment this way will not wend.

 

No unwanted touching.

No offensive parlays.

Just good friends having fun,

Through the holidays.

Good cheer in the office.

Good cheer in the hall.

Now we say, Holiday!

Good times for all!

 

But what of Facebook, you say, Got a rule for that?

Social media mayhem?  We’ve got that down pat.

Emails, tweets, comments, and “likes” may be viewed elsewhere.

So when posting and texting, you’ve got to take care.

 

NLRB, we’ve listened.  We’ve read all the news.

Our policies don’t stifle our employees’ views.

On wages and conditions, they can have their say.

But bullying and violence, that is not our way.

 

Our star – how it twinkles, on a tree so merry.

And gifts from our clients of chocolate and berry.

Oh, how this good cheer will go straight to our waists.

But that’s wellness’s problem to handle post-haste.

The gag gift exchanges, the pot lucks, the games

Do all in good conscience, we’re taking down names.

And when Santa comes to spread holiday cheer,

Remember others hold different traditions near.

 

The holiday party arrives with a bang.

The HR department feels a nervous pang.

When the festivities start, a sigh of relief

Can be heard round the office like bells on a wreath.

 

The spirit of the season, the love in our hearts,

Brings all peoples together ‘fore the New Year starts.

It’s okay to have fun at work never fear.

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good year!

 

Vanessa Towarnicky's primary focus is in the area of labor and employment law. She has been involved in representing clients in various employment cases, including sexual harassment; deliberate intent; age, race, and disability discrimination; wrongful discharge; and various other employment-related torts. She is admitted to various state and federal courts as well as the Third Circuit Court of Appeals and Fourth Circuit Court of Appeals.
 
» See more articles by Vanessa L. Towarnicky
» Read the full biography of Vanessa L. Towarnicky at Steptoe & Johnson

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